7 t H e a v e n

There will come a time,
When we will be one,
May be soon, may be later,
A life that's never revealed yet believed.

The warmth is felt when you are around; a smile from you
makes it all warmer.

Seamlessly in thoughts in the room,
I fell into a sudden deep, short, sleep..

Drifting away far from reality,
The music playing in my head,
The pictures playing in my mind,
Everything out there was silent for a while..

How would tomorrow be,
Would I run the extra mile,

Would I make the smallest of things,

To carve everything that would possibly
Possibly,
Craft your smile..

I woke up in a slow start,
I fell asleep, I realized.
Getting up was tough,
I was here, in reality,
Far from the world I was in,
How would tomorrow be?
All that’s left is a life to pursue..

Life is precious if your heart
is loving enough to love me.

I stared and stared,
And awaited to be distracted..

Swathed, I got up to walk the awaiting road.

I came home yesterday from university feeling totally uneasy.
My head spinned a little and found quite a difficulty to breathe.

I went up to get some rest; as I closed my room door;
suddenly my whole eyesight went dark! I practically saw
it all getting gradually dark. I couldn't remember what happened next.

I woke up, seeing myself on the floor. I actually fainted, again. This
probably is the fourth time I'm fainting.

I slept right after that. Even skipped dinner.

Feeling better today, but a little weird though.

I need to breathe more!!

Tiresome of whatever doings in the sense of responsbility
and maybe heard in everyway but might be the only method
of discovering whats false or true at the same time may not
be the primary issue and thus serving not its purpose to what
the crisis has and how it developed to an unimaginable level
living the breathing breathless consuming energy so far that
none can retrieve and striving too high the eagles fly for not
believing in rumours of truth and legacy but joints of possesions
in hand and finding the ultimate visions to outraging varies of
keytones.

I had a dream last night. I don't know whether it was a dream,
but it bloody was real.

It was you! It started off with a low clearity actually, me and you
hanging out everywhere. All I saw was your smiles and laughs.
We were just talking and laughing at everywhere.
Well, that was just the beginning.

At a point, we were in this absolutely beautiful and breathtaking
place. We were somewhat at the edge of a fall. I wasn't sure whether
it was the Niagara falls, but it was just amazing. I could feel the heavy wind
and the sounds of falling waters was just ringing by my years. It felt totally heavenic.
We were there, walking towards the edge of the huge stream. And I asked you whether
you were ready to do this. Gosh, I don't even know why I asked that. And you said, if you are,
than I am too. I looked at you and suddenly we started smiling hard at each other. We were already soaked, and I guess we were about to make this long jump off the edge of the falls.
It felt so real that I hadn't had the slightest clue that I was sleeping. Before jumping off, I infact
told you something like this; Sunset, before its too late, or I don't make it, I just want you to know that I love you1 GOSH! And I said it so willingly! How could I ever? I didn't even hesitate! But then again, I didn't feel guilty or whatsoever. Cause I was sleeping I guess. I can't remember what you said, but we then jumped! Anyways, I didn't feel the impact. That part was weird cause I didn't even feel the waters.

The next thing I knew I was by the beach. My oh my, it was a wedding! My wedding! Gosh, how could I ever get married? I was the restless groom and then I saw you coming to the altar. This time it felt weird. I actually looked at my suit and I said "Am I getting married?" Gosh, which groom would ever question that during The moment. Then I looked at you; your veil covered your face indeed. I can't really remember what kinda wedding gown you were on , but it was sure beautiful. You looked your best. You were holding that bouquet too. And my, as you there in front of me, the Father didn't even say anything, we straight kissed!, and I don't remember putting for you the wedding ring. Gosh. And btw, it was near sunset. Btw again, the kiss part was weird. Totally weird. I don't know how to put in words.


I'm totally not faking this. It was so real that I could actually remember the details of it. Hm, I can't remember how I woke up. But one thing for sure, it was like a dream come true. I meant the settings and all, the places, the falls, the beach, it was just amazingly beautiful. I was fresh when I woke up! Gosh, you weren't saying much in my dreams but you eye-talked alot. Alot.

Some visions from God eh.

These are some of me:-

curious
a little wild
always wannabe diff from others in
what ever I do
mental
sick
irritating sometimes
receive criticisims openly
very hard to get angry
might be loveable(depending on person)
might be likeable ( " " " )
dreams to the highest
love poems
stories
writes alot
speaks little
listens most.
wants a partner
whose sincere in whatever she does or says or etcs.
loves nature
wants eternal happiness.
yearns to care.
like chocs.
hate salt water.
hates coughing (especially "Red" ones)
hard to fall for someone
yearns for trust
hate backstabbers
front
side
diaoganal
loves to observe things
dream, stare
like to analyze people
on how they talk
act
react
respond
laughs
never takes things for granted.
careless though.
hurt myself easily (mentally and physically)
hate if someones ditches,
cheats, lies.
hate teasing people.
never believed in flirting.
true love.
hate playboys , girls.
easily touched by stories.
appreciate God's creation alot.
hate littering.
wanted to live forever.
never wanted to die. (when I was 5)
loves sunrise and sunsets.

life dreams+shared with lover = perfect combination.

Je détiens serré à qui je l'amour

This sweater never failed to keep me warm. Maybe it grows with me.

We finally met Today,

We laughed and talked and we

were so gay,

Time will decide our paths,

But I doubt it will ever split

Sunrise and Sunset apart.

Or someone?

I don't quite know, but I do know
that I just want to fall to that something
or someone.

So that I would not feel thrown,
pushed, neglected, laughed at,
and stepped on again, and again.

What wrong did I do?
All I did was to help all of you out,
and what I get is
a bunch of thorns
stripped off from the roses.

If I could just fall to that someone,
and lay my trust on that person,
and share every moments that
could mark a new beginning,
I guess my heart won't be that
cold anymore.



Its freezing now.

I saw him drove away.

It has been a long time since we broke up. Catherine,
she was amazing in her own ways and never left anything
undone. Except me; I was undone when she left me. Helpless.

We met in a park.

"Tom, I've got to get this tied. Carry on, I'll join you soon."

"Lance, you know them. I can't jog without you. They'll crush me
with the lamest things on earth."

"Well you better wear those socks low or else you'll be one of them,"

"Christ Lance! How could I not notice that, you saved my life", Tom said as he
lowered his socks.

Thus we joined the group for our evening jog. I saw the laughs of people, and the
running of children.

"You know one thing Lance, if could just get one of those over there, I am life," pointing
to a group of teenage girls jogging.

"If you're life then whose death?"

"Mum"

"Gosh have you not been talking to her?"

"Lance, its over,"

"No its not, it is you whose ending it,"

"Lance," they stopped.

"Lance, rightnow here its a great life, you're here, Paula, Jerrod and all,
please, I think mum would have been more than happy to see all these,"

"You know Tom, when I was eight , and when you were born, mum told me,
"Oh Lancy Boy, I think we've got our family an angel," as I recalled, then continued,

"And now you tell me, doesn't an angel forgives?"

"For Christ sake Lance, she left him! She left Dad stranded with us!
She didn't care, she didn't wanna care, all she cared was for herself
and that idiot she ran with"

"You need time Tom,"

"Exactly, or else what am I doing here then?"

I kept silent for a while. Everything seemed to be alright I think. Or am I lying to
myself? Do I need to see a real angel?

That's when Catherine came jogging by, and yeah, I thought I saw an angel.

"Christ Tom, you know her?" I asked him as I pointed towards that angel.

"Haha are you kidding Lance? I've been dating for 3 months now already."

The 8th of April 2008 is a date I will never
ever disregard.

The legend of the stallion has thus ended.
Thus comes the new beginning of
your wanted slapped puppy.


Probably, its one of the craziest things I've done
but hey somehow I feel good doing it.

All in all,

this marks the success of the hair deal.


Sunset, I've not changed!

"That's 27 bucks for a new rate,"

"Nah I think it might worth cheaper than that,
probably 20?"

"Haha nothing here goes lower than 24,"

"24 then"

The shopkeeper looks at John for a while, as if
thinking deep, then rubbed his forehead.

"Its yours. No more coming to my shop.
I don't wanna sell things for free."

Both him and John laughs.

John comes out holding the parcel. A beautiful evening it was. Took out cigarette and started walking down the path. Would she like it? Would it be a surprise? Or, would she just throw a blunt face? Or act excited? He did not know which assumption was the right one, but he himself prefer no to. Let it be a surprise to both parties.

"John!"

He looked back and saw a figure coming to him.
It was Lance.
What was he doing here? Isn't he suppose to be in the States?

"John, where are you going?"
"Hey Lance, I thought you flew off last Tuesday,"
"Oh well, you didn't know? I postponed my ticket,
I had some things to settle and I thought next week
would be a better deal."
"But Claire told me yesterday that you were in Chicago"
"No she didn't,"
"I spoke to her on the phone,"
"What else did she say?"
"You know what, I've got to rush now, I'm-"
"Meeting Catherine?"

John paused a while. Then he replied,

"No, not Catherine, I'm off to Paula's place,
my mum is waiting for me."

"Oh well you should get going, "

"Tell Claire that I'll call her tonight."

John started his car, and when we was about to pull off,
Lance stopped him and said,

"John, send my regards to Cath. She's not missing you a bit."

John gave a stare, and drove off.

And so it began. The morning mist was an absolute beauty of its own. I looked at the lake wonder of a thousand waters; how could I speak out? It wasn't the easiest thing to do now, as I can't remember the past that has been killing me. Would a flower do, or just a petal? Or may be the stem?

I got up and took a jog. Oh yes, it was the freshest air I've ever breathe in years. The atmosphere was serene and I had no fear of tasting the sweetness of the morning dew. I saw Catherine from afar and I thought of going to her but John came along. I took the outer track and continued jogging.

I still had the parcel. It was yet to be given. Remain untouched, its as good as new. I wonder why I am taking so long just to deliver. Could be of a heavy heart, or a lack of commitment? I jogged as I watched the birds fly high. A beautiful sky it was. I stopped and closed my eyes, took the deepest breathe , and as I opened my eyes, I thought I saw a horse coming fast towards me. I smiled, yet as I slowly focused and as it got closer, I realized it was a car, and I thought I saw Catherine in it.

It all went black and silent.

Wow, a good start!
Had a wonderful morning breakfast,
Don't really know why I'm feeling
the happiest today but probably
because the sales have ended.


Perfect class and I learnt alot.

Now having a great time with friends
and looking forward to the rest of the day!


de il I

Its been quite a while
Since I saw the setting of you,
Would I blame the weather
or myself?
I guess it was always stormy
and I was too hooked up with
the speed of life.

Its amazing how you could be blocked
by something so dark whilst
you're the brightest in the sky.
Yet you never failed to get your
shine through,
I wonder how you do that.
You are definitely unique.

If you were as big as my palm,
I would make you set in myself,
In the bathtub perhaps,
Where I would sink my palm slowly
into the waters,
And later wipe you dry with a clean
white cloth.

Be a dove, fly for love, for you were made
to be above.

Is my life taking a turn?
I am not too sure.
But I might be sure.

Or am I just assuming?
But changes I have noticed,
for bad and for good.

Am I stepping milestones?
Or am I just tasting
a little sugar here and there?
Christ, its hard to judge.

So don't judge.
Let me go on and on as it takes to go.
Climb hills and swim in rivers.
Just flow with the life that has been
set by Him.

Hence, I closed my eyes.

Tiring and an unexplainable mood I am now.
Why are you coming back?
You were suppose to be gone;
you never answered my pitty cries.
And now you come back,
just because you yourself were ditched.

Bravo, but I'm not a toy soldier.
Remember that, I do have a soul.