7 t H e a v e n

You tell me, does it matter?
After all what took place today,
does success ever that sweet?
Guess what, it ain't that sugar-like.
It didn't feel great at all being a
champion, when your heart is cold.

As you have made it somehow,
to every happiness has a painful reason.


And I shall live by it.

First Verse:

Rain on me,
If you ever
Ever fall on me,
Come fill your heart with
your tender me,
I would take you
far away from me.

Oh bleed with me,
Have your chance to
back away from me.
Cause I will open up
the doors for me,
So you could never
think of me.

Bridge:

Too far,

Fix the broken heart,
For we're far apart,
Though it may be hard,
Just end it with a start.


Chorus:

It shouldn't have been this way,
So you should know,
But I have found a way,
And it wouldn't be a sway,
As the clouds fade,
So you could shine your ray.

Second verse:

Crave for you,
If I could ever
promise you,
Heavens and
flowing streams,
Sunsets and
lovely dreams.

Oh trust and keep,
The letters I
wrote too deep,
Please don't ever
pray and weep,
Lay down a
blissful sleep.

Bridge:

Too far,

Fix the broken heart,
For we're far apart,
Though it may be hard,
Just end it with a start.

Chorus:

It shouldn't have been this way,
So you should know,
But I have found a way,
And it wouldn't be a sway,
As the clouds fade,
So you could shine your ray.


Bridge:

Coming through the darkest night,
Swinging by your lovely sight,
Having but a faithful light,
To me you're the one alright.

Clinging on the mountains top,
Waiting for the loudest pop,
But I would never ever doubt,
That you should ever need to stop.

Chorus:

It shouldn't have been this way,
So you should know,
But I have found a way,
And it wouldn't be a sway,
As the clouds fade,
So you could shine your ray,

Come on and oh, rain on me,
Ever ever, fall on me,
Fill your heart with
tender me,
Rain on me
Rain on me..

Today, I did not sleep!

Work, work and more work!

I thought I would have at least two hours
of bed time.

I only had two minutes.

At 9.00 am, it was a rush to university.
I couldn't possibly explain how "fun" was Maths
and how "energetic" was Media Culture class.

For lunch, it was fat rice.

Today, we were screened on a documentary about
the muslims of Afghanistan and the Americans.
Seriously, it was heavy politics.
I dueled with my eyes in staying awake.
I won, but with little inspiration.
Class ended,
and my eyes were closed throughout the
whole journey home.

Walking back to my house, it suddenly rained. I was extremely lazy
in making a move to run. I infact slowed down. It has been a long time
since I danced in the rain. But no, I didn't dance this time! I just felt the
droplets on my face and could feel nothing on my head as my hair was
as thick as Amazon. By the time I got home, I was indeed reluctant to take
my bath again.

Coldplay's tracks' was what I listened to on my bed.
I liked this stanza from Swalloed in The Sea;

And I could write a song,
A thousand miles long,
Cause that's where I belong,
And you belong with me.

Deep it was.

Imagine if we wrote songs that were thousands of miles in length?
Woudn't that be wonderful? A never ending musicale life?

I guess without music, life will be symphony-free.
That would be extremely dull.
There would be no dances.
No singing.
No culture.

We would be worthless beings.
Wow.

Probably I exaggerated too much.
But it makes sense.

The past days have been stormy. I wonder why.
Can't wait for a clear day, for a clear dusk sight!

3 days and You will rise.

I woke up this morning to get a call from a friend.
He was coming by to my place.


We were set working.
Working, and working.

It was until 745pm that I noticed how good
this day was.
How free this day was suppose to be.

A Good Free(Fri)-day.

I stopped working.
He did not.

I pondered.
You were yet hidden by those clouds.
But your presence felt. Good enough.


God shine your grace and mercy to this pity life
of us, let us know your greatness.

Praise the Lord.

Walking past fields of greeneries,
I look up to the sky in aspiration,
Endeavoring to catch a glimpse,
Of my dear little sunset.

You were nearly gone astray
Scarf up by the majestic clouds,
In time I swiftly reached out my
long faithful friend,
And quickly procured images
of your unscathed rays..
No beauty could define your
amorous warmth on my pity face..


Tomorrow, I yearn too catch you more!
You may be hidden by clouds and chills
of winds,
yet your presence satisfies my soul.

Anguish ness fall, Faith arises,
in the very journey to breathe in life
to the oceans that waves by,
to the wind that dances through,
and to the sun that glistens upon,
may the heavens shelter upon
the dream of our own.

Fly as high as you may,
Though not a sunny day,
You are still opt to pray,
Why why I'm stil l in fray,
By that very bay.
Pondering on dear May,
that June will never come,
I hereby scatter some
flowers over waters.

So, from talks to wishes,
Wishes to dreams,
Dreams to Inspirations,
Inspirations to Passion,
Passion to L*ve,
Was it all set in a comedy court?

Or wait, was it l*ve or what?

Gosh, it seemed so true.

You have your life now.

I would like to change the world before changing myself.
Sunday has never been so sunny, I was a little lost as
everything was moving oddly.
Lunch was ......I forgot.

Evening exercise has been reduced. Reason being I'm not quite
sure but probably lack of desire to do it.
Shower has been boring without self-music. Coughing instead.

Writing this makes me wonder,

Of chocs and roses,
what would I choose?

Chocs I can eat,
Roses I can smell,
I'm not that hungry,
Neither I am smelly,

Both I disgard.

I need an inspiration.

You see, you don't have to be seen.
You can walk right into it and be right
that you are wrong.
You, for Christ Sake, took the wrong tunnel.
Again.
You took many wrong paths and yet
never did learn lessons.
You are of no intelligence?
You don't need to look back
and regret.
You have taken that painful path
and so don't disclaim it.
You think you might see light again
but you do doubt.
You wanna take the same tunnel again?
If you do,
You must not blame anyone this time.
You musn't regret.
You must take the pain.
You must fall again.
Then get up and jump off the cliff.

You swim to the bank.
And there you go,
a whole choices of tunnels again.



Wanna pain ride again?
You don't have a choice at all.

Walking down to my house just before sunset.
Reminded me of 8 months back where I would look
to the northwest with pride.
Now its just a sight.


Why did it need to occur?
I do not understand it, and most
probably I don't wanna understand it more.

Now that there is absence after absence,
I guess a new one is heading towards me, again.
Most probably everything will collapse like it
did previously. A designed formula I guess.

Look, I don't want my life to be customized to
how it wants to be.
Anyways, do as what you like,


as I don't see my reflection in the mirror.

None of these post would have exist if she did not inspire me too. Yeah, she bloomed it.
I knew of blogs, yet did not really spend my time to Spend time on it. Until one day she introduced me to hers. I was amazed. So much of creativity and deep meanings I saw in her page. Yeah, really inspired.

Well thank you Sunset. I owe you your remaining pictures.
Continue to inspire people and be
inspired.

Today is yet to come.


Sunrises are indeed beautiful.

Life's love.
Love's life.
Life ain't good all the time,
All the time love ain't good.


Imagine life without love.
There ain't life.

Imagine love with life.


You can't.

And thus he said I had feelings for it.
Of course I did, and not just for that,
many other things to which I truly don't
reveal. But that's not the point, for expressing
or keeping your feelings in or out is totally up to
the hands of the beholder.

I've been noticing more sunrises; in books, pictures, films.
A book titled "Landscapes of East England" had plentiful
of beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Its amazing how heaven
can be created right here on this very surface of earth.

Hence my cough never stopped. It’s as stubborn as a rat
and wishes to keep hold of me. Its fine with me', being healthy
always would be boring though. But I'm definitely not inspired by it.

Tomorrow faces a new beginning as it brings the long awaited results.
All the best, tomorrow. Yesterday has been a little not too well, and today
has been very damped. Tomorrow is expected to be sunny.
The rainbows will rejoice.

Let me walk on this single lane without having to collide
with one another and so you could live the life you dreamed
and I might recover to live the life that defines your absence
and so I would mesmerize the past to live the future. Perhaps.

A long, black-sleeve T and not-really-baggy-at-all jeans was what I wore today. A sling bag I did not want but forced to as my sister took my bag pack to Singapore. Beautiful sunny morning, yet a yawning class it was.

I did not mind at all, as she was my favorite lecturer. She gave me plentiful inspirations, and I respect her very much for her intellectuality. As class was going on, a spark of thought ran through my mind. My injured friend who's unable to attend class. Again the guiltiness was emerging, but after remembering the scripture yesterday, it was thus gone immediately.

Lunch was nothing but a piece of roti canai and "pull tea". I and my mates were joyfully discussing on movies. How routine. I needed something refreshing, and so I stared hard at the cafe owner. Feeling uneasy, he looked down and gave a signaling cough. I blinked hard and laid my head flat on the table. I was tired yet unimaginably alert. No, it was restlessness.

The next lecture was about LAT. The famous cartoon character with durian hair and 3 nostrils.
It was a little interesting to learn about the history of it, yet boring when it came to the assignment part. I ran away from class. Five minutes before it ended.

Back home, tea was the best part.
Shower's next.
Right after that, it’s all about a game of sitting and working.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautifulest,
Out of complete darkness thou spark a shimmer,
Oh amazing grace!
How sweet thou potray thy
majestic flares,
Thou but stranded in thy
heavenly sight,
In the midst of the graceful mist,
Thou shall rise
When the cockrel crows.
And thou shall celebrate thy
return
At every dawn.
Rise in glory!

The hour has not arrive,
For us to derive,
From our pitty lives.
So why not we strive,
Towards the ultimate price,
Which might be determined
by a throw of a dice.
Gosh!
What a life.

The week had been damped with rain. It hadn't rain today. But it was gloomy though. I wonder what all that meant. Could it be for my close friend who was admitted in the hospital? Or was it just the weather?

I never failed to fall asleep in a car ride. It can move as fast as a stallion or as slow as a bull cart but none can keep me awake. I slept throughout the journey home from my university. Guiltiness’ I do feel for I'm suppose to keep awake for my friend who was driving.
But then again, the Sleeping God never let go of me. I gave in.

A deep sleep it was.

Yet not a single dream.

All pitch black, yet I did have a few images floating around. My lecturer, the canteen, some skies and clouds, bits of leaves, flashing lights and my friend who gave a weird smile.

With that I woke up.

I cannot explain how bright everything was. But everything tuned to its hue in a while. I wasn't home yet. The radio was blasted aloud now. It was cold in the car. My friend was muttering some words I could not understand or interpret. I turned behind and there was my close friend of mine who was admitted in the hospital. He was sitting there, smiling straight to me.

I woke up again.

It was bright. In a while everything came into focus. Home was right there in front of me.

As I came out of the car to my house, with a soft, long breath, I whispered ; "Amen".

Sitting here now , I cannot not explain why I had that dream (probably not for it was too real)
at that time. Was it because of pure guilty consciousness that he got injured because of me?
Or am I blaming myself again and again?

Now as I turn my sight towards a painted picture, I see a scripture:

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." -2 Timothy 1:7



I reached out my mobile, and called my friend.

I write this for it to be written,
Of at any purpose I don't know,
On my desk lay Nescafe and
a tall slim mic,
With stiff unmoving air as I have disagreements
with fans,
Looking forward,
To the chirping birds from the
garden,
And to the ticking of the
century old clock,
As my hands move swiftly
over the keys of alphabets,
I suddenly remember,
I've to take my shower.



P/s: I had a dream whereby it was all clear to me that it
will not be a dream soon enough.

Read the title backwards.

Do we all have this? I bet we do.
Does it drive us crazy? Most of the time, it might.
I've always wondered of a place full with greeneries
and the air as serene it can be; but I wonder
what would all that mean at the end of the day.
Achieving is one thing, but would it all be worth it at the end?
I'm way to confuse on what's coming about and to happen,
but one thing for sure;
evol rof nraey I.